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Present, Anyone?
A lifelong fan of clever wordplay, one of my favorite quotes goes, "yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, but today is a gift, that is why its called the PRESENT."
This being the season of giving set me to wondering, is it possible that being fully PRESENT for another person is the best gift we can give? Full, undivided attention where we actually listen for a change?
The other day I was meeting with a new client for the first time. A consulting hypnotist really needs to ask detailed questions and then listen carefully to the responses in order to do the job well since no two people are exactly alike. A couple of minutes into this initial meeting I realized that there was noise problem in my office building that was distracting my attention somewhat.
Someone a few doors down had placed in the hallway this rather bizarre little Santa robot who shakes his hips lasciviously in time to an endless loop of one holiday song. Kind of maddening to tell the truth.
So I excused myself briefly, dealt with the problem (no, a sledgehammer was not involved, just a polite request) and I was then able to give the proper attention to the person sitting across from me.
When someone gives you his or her complete attention it shows a kind of respect that unfortunately has become kind of rare. A comment you will often hear people make about a charismatic person is that he or she "made me feel like I was the only person in the room."
The value of this makes perfect sense: human beings are essentially hardwired to make connections with fellow humans. We experience ourselves to a large degree through others. This is why being ignored or neglected can be so damaging even if other basic needs like food, shelter and safety are met.
Deep conversations are pretty much impossible with someone who "has to" answer every cell phone call or text message that comes in-no matter how trivial. And even without modern gadgetry like cell phones and creepy Santa robots constantly interrupting, the ability to really hear what someone else is actually saying is something that takes a bit of effort.
Ask questions and wait for the reply, don't have your answer formulated before they finish. Reflect back what you "think" they said and find out if your interpretation is accurate. Relax, tune out the distractions and be PRESENT. This can be challenging, but trust me, it will be much appreciated by the people in your inner circle. Make sure your presence is a gift this Holiday Season.
This being the season of giving set me to wondering, is it possible that being fully PRESENT for another person is the best gift we can give? Full, undivided attention where we actually listen for a change?
The other day I was meeting with a new client for the first time. A consulting hypnotist really needs to ask detailed questions and then listen carefully to the responses in order to do the job well since no two people are exactly alike. A couple of minutes into this initial meeting I realized that there was noise problem in my office building that was distracting my attention somewhat.
Someone a few doors down had placed in the hallway this rather bizarre little Santa robot who shakes his hips lasciviously in time to an endless loop of one holiday song. Kind of maddening to tell the truth.
So I excused myself briefly, dealt with the problem (no, a sledgehammer was not involved, just a polite request) and I was then able to give the proper attention to the person sitting across from me.
When someone gives you his or her complete attention it shows a kind of respect that unfortunately has become kind of rare. A comment you will often hear people make about a charismatic person is that he or she "made me feel like I was the only person in the room."
The value of this makes perfect sense: human beings are essentially hardwired to make connections with fellow humans. We experience ourselves to a large degree through others. This is why being ignored or neglected can be so damaging even if other basic needs like food, shelter and safety are met.
Deep conversations are pretty much impossible with someone who "has to" answer every cell phone call or text message that comes in-no matter how trivial. And even without modern gadgetry like cell phones and creepy Santa robots constantly interrupting, the ability to really hear what someone else is actually saying is something that takes a bit of effort.
Ask questions and wait for the reply, don't have your answer formulated before they finish. Reflect back what you "think" they said and find out if your interpretation is accurate. Relax, tune out the distractions and be PRESENT. This can be challenging, but trust me, it will be much appreciated by the people in your inner circle. Make sure your presence is a gift this Holiday Season.
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3 Comments
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Comment by Zoilita Grant on December 13, 2008 at 10:39am - James....Blessings and Abundance! Zoilita Grant MS. CCHt.Certified Hypnotic-Coach www.coloradohypnotherapy.com
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Comment by James Malone on December 13, 2008 at 10:30am - Thank you for the kind commentary Zolita as well as the recent friend add!
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Comment by Zoilita Grant on December 12, 2008 at 6:10pm
- James....Nice thoughts. I do agree. Being fully present is a great gift. All my best, Zoilita Grant MS. CCHt. www.coloradohypnotherapy.com
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